How to create a hygge life in Denmark
- The International
- 14 hours ago
- 5 min read
Adjusting to hygge can feel like learning a new cultural language, yet it comes naturally with time. Natália Šepitková explains how the Christmas season deepens the experience.
Photographs: Various
Text: Natalia Sepitkova
Jessica Joelle Alexander, originally from Florida, spent more than half her life outside the United States. She studied Neuropsychology and Italian, and met her Danish husband while they were both working in Belgium. Having lived in several countries – including Belgium, Italy, Norway, and Denmark – she has always been fascinated by cultural differences and how they shape our perception of the world.
From the moment she arrived in Denmark, she noticed something remarkable about the way Danes raise their children, an essential part of which is the concept of hygge. This inspired her to dedicate her life’s work to researching and writing about The Danish Way – an approach to parenting deeply connected to happiness and one that she believes can be applied anywhere in the world.
Her first book, The Danish Way of Parenting, co-authored with a Danish psychotherapist has been published in over 35 countries. Since then, she has written four books, conducted research for UC Berkeley, collaborated with LEGO on projects exploring the power of play, and delivered talks, seminars, and workshops around the globe. Most recently, she co-founded a company dedicated to helping parents and educators raise children in the digital age, rooted, once again, in the Danish approach to well-being and growth.
What does hygge mean to you?
For me, hygge isn’t just about candles or cosiness – it’s about creating a shared psychological space. It’s the moment when we leave behind stress, negativity, and anything divisive, and choose to be fully present with one another. At its heart, hygge is about giving up a little of the “me” for the “we.”
Had you heard about the hygge concept before moving to Denmark, or was it the first time you experienced it here?
No, I hadn’t heard of the concept before, but I quickly realised it was definitely a thing. In Denmark, you can hardly have a conversation without the word hygge coming up in some form - whether it’s a noun, an adjective, or even an adverb. So right from the start, my researcher brain switched on, and I wanted to understand what hygge really meant, especially for someone who didn’t grow up Danish.
Is hygge something we can also find in other countries or cultures, under different names?
Some languages have similar concepts - like gezellig in Dutch or koselig in Norwegian. Still, Danish hygge is truly unique once you understand the deeper layers beyond the candles and cosy blankets. It captures something more profound about connection and well-being. I think that’s why it officially made its way into the English dictionary in 2016 – there just wasn’t another word quite like it.
“Hygge isn’t just candles or cosiness - it’s a shared psychological space where we set aside stress and choose to be fully present with one another. At its heart, it’s giving up a little of the ‘me’ for the ‘we.’ ”
Is hygge really a factor in a happy life?
I know it is. I’ve experienced its effects firsthand, and research on well-being and happiness consistently points to concepts like hygge as powerful tools for improving our overall happiness when practised intentionally. Hygge can definitely strengthen meaningful relationships.
What impact does hygge have on raising children?
It helps you focus on what really matters – the here and now, and all the little things we often overlook. Children absolutely love it when their parents are truly present, enjoying the moment with them and leaving their stresses outside. Understanding hygge and making space for it within family life can have a deeply positive impact on children. It gives them a sense of safety, connection, and belonging.
Does hygge build better family relationships?
Absolutely.
How does hygge influence your life? When and how is it present in your daily life?
My kids are teenagers now, so I try to seize any opportunity, whenever it comes, to listen to what’s happening in their lives, take a walk together, share funny memories from our past or just marvel at a fallen leaf or sunny day. Hygge can be enjoyed at any age, but it takes awareness from everyone involved. It’s about learning to notice the glimmers – those small moments of joy and beauty – rather than reacting to triggers that pull us apart. In that way, hygge becomes like an oasis from life’s worries and stresses. I didn´t grow up with hygge myself, so I have had to practice it intentionally, but I can see it is becoming much more natural for our kids. What a nice legacy to leave.
What is your hygge tip?
I’ve learned that for hygge to really happen, it has to be a team effort. That’s why I created the Hygge Oath – to help families and friends understand how to bring “we-fulness” to life. Many parents have told me they’ve printed the Hygge Oath out and put it on their fridge as a gentle reminder. You can find it on thedanishway.com or in my new book, with family therapist Camilla Semlov Andersson, "The Danish Way Everyday”.
Is Christmas the most hygge holiday in Denmark? How does this manifest itself?
It is definitely the most hygge holiday in Denmark! Christmas engages all the senses – the scent of freshly baked cookies and spiced gløgg; the soft glow of candles flickering in every window; the sound of children singing from choirs and kindergartens; the touch of handmade paper hearts and natural decorations of pine cones and moss; and the sight of little Christmas gnomes around seemingly every corner. From creating decorations and baking side by side to singing and dancing hand in hand around the Christmas tree (yes, that really is a thing!) Christmas in Denmark is hygge personified!
Will your Christmas be hygge style?
This Christmas, I will be in Florida for the first time in over 21 years. We have learned, in my American family, after years of practice, that hygge isn’t limited to candlelit evenings, snowy days, and Danish decorations. It’s really about giving up a little of the “me” for the “we”, and it can be just as meaningful on a sunny beach, with your toes in the sand and the sun on your face-no political discussions, no gossip, screens, negativity or stress. This is where the magic happens, and it´s why I believe that, for non-Danes, hygge must be understood as a psychological space we create as a team. I always say that to really understand and appreciate what hygge is. It´s not mindfulness – it’s we-fulness, and it´s highly beneficial to the heart and soul.