Taking up space while living abroad

Photographs: Pexels

Text: Heather Storgaard

Living abroad, it can be challenging to take up space in a society that is not your own. It is challenging to find your voice, communities and views in groups that are foreign to you. Yet finding your own views and pursuing them is a critical part of the process of feeling at home in a new place.

Most people living abroad in Western and Northern European countries will, at some point, be told that they are lucky to be here. Danes, in particular, often believe that this is simply the place where everyone in the world wants to be, which is a highly over-simplified view of culture and immigration. While it’s clearly true that the country rates highly for quality of life, I like to tell Danes that some of the most content people I know are living international lives in countries such as Tanzania and Myanmar, places that are usually not seen as the most desirable or prestigious. The contribution of international residents to the Danish economy is becoming more widely known, but our contributions and presence in other areas of life are somewhat more ambiguous.

Expressing political views, opinions on local issues or disagreement with the quality of anything can cause locals to express the belief that you are asking too much. But it is only natural to get over a young honeymoon period with a new home, even if it is a place you truly love. In fact, genuine integration in a democratic, participation-focused society requires you to critically assess your own life and society there. Whether positive participation - volunteering, involving yourself in your workplace or schools – or the more negative examples of engaging with feedback on negative experiences in systems, leaving your mark on Denmark is valuable.

"The contribution of international residents to the Danish economy is becoming more widely known."

While international life is a beautiful, rich one, it can also quickly lead to a significant amount of time consumed by bureaucracy and paperwork. Whether it comes from immigration services, multiple tax authorities or simply everything taking longer when you’re navigating it in your second, third or fourth language, it is present for most of us. This summer, our plans of relaxing, pursuing creative work, or any of the things we chose to spend our time on were squashed by a seemingly never-ending legal mess. This included lawyers in Berlin whose primary skills seemed to focus on living up to all German stereotypes- an aversion to all things digital, crawling response times and incredible inflexibility. While many of our local Danish friends found the situation shocking, our fellow internationals living messy, ever-moving lives answered with stories of equally ridiculous bureaucracy and tips on dealing with the German system. It struck me that so much energy goes into living internationally, and while most of us would agree it is worth it, it challenges our abilities to truly partake in the society in which we are trying to create a rich life.

Writing this, I’m struck that many of these issues are often more challenging for women, who society expects to place the needs of their partners, children and other family members who may be vying for our attention and time above our own. I wasn’t quite sure what I would write about for this article after I pitched it, as I’m not sure that I have solutions, but they are issues I feel very strongly about being worthy of discussion. Denmark is a highly conformist society, where most people aim to fit in with societal norms and structures. As a foreigner, even a well-integrated one, you inevitably break with that conformity in some ways, even if it is simply your presence. Taking up space and leaving your mark on the country is powerful.