When your right to stay here is at risk

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Julia Jones responds to an international facing job loss, residency uncertainty, and the fear of losing everything they’ve built in Denmark.

Photographs: Various

Text: Julia Jones

In Dear Julia, psychologist Julia Jones answers readers’ questions about life between cultures, exploring what it takes to build meaning and connection as an international in Denmark while staying true to yourself. Ask your own question anonymously here or learn more about Julia’s therapy practice for internationals, called Jaywalk. The question below is quoted as written.

Dear Julia...

I came to DK 6 years ago for my Master's degree. After finishing my studies, I was fortunate to stay in DK with a full time job. I've dedicated a lot to that job and to fit in Danish society, this included completing danish classes, having volunteer jobs, learning about danish society and even passing the danish culture exam. Finally in August 2025, I was able to submit my application for a permanent residence after "ticking" all the boxes to the many requirements there are. As a non-EU person, this was something I was really looking forward to, it was a milestone for my life here because it would signify that I'm no longer dependent of having a job to have the right to stay and keep the life I've built here. Unfortunately, September 2025 came with bad news and I was informed that my job contract was being terminated due to some organizational changes in the company I worked. Suddenly, all the efforts I've taken to fit and build a life here have vanished. I now face the uncertainty of whether I can stay or will I be sent back to my home country. I have 4 months in total to find a new job so that I can keep my permanent residence application going, otherwise I need to apply for a job-seeking visa that will grant me 6 more months to get a job. If I don't succeed in this timeline, that's it, I need to go back.

How can we as internationals cope with this type of pressure, where time is running, job market is not doing well and, on top of that, you risk losing all you've worked for with no safety-net whatsoever? It's frustrating, sad, overwhelming - you doubt of your capabilities, you doubt of your worth, you cannot find meaning to your actions and efforts because what's the point of it. You even blame your roots because that's the reason why you have to face this uncertainty. That's my story and my question.

Thanks for creating this space, it really resonates with me and I find big support through it.

Dan

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Dear Dan...

I’m so sorry that you are in this situation. It must be incredibly hard to have the promise of permanent residency taken away the moment you thought you had earned it. Many of us believe that if we do what we are supposed to do, work hard and follow the rules, life will reward us. But life can be unpredictable and, at times, deeply unfair, like in your case.

For years, you had a job and a clear goal: permanent residency. The rules were hard but predictable. Now both the job and the predictability are gone. The ensuing uncertainty triggers the body’s threat response and upsets our emotional and mental balance.

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes a lot of sense. Our psyche’s task is to keep us safe by predicting what comes next based on past experience. When reality suddenly contradicts what we expected, the alarm goes off. Danger ahead.

The body floods with stress hormones. Sleep, digestion, and concentration, among other functions, are all affected, along with our thoughts and feelings. Typically, the body can regulate the threat response flexibly to help us weather life's challenges. But when our livelihood and place in the world are at stake, stress can stay chronically elevated.

This is the reality many non-EU internationals face after a layoff. You ask how to cope in this situation, when time is running out, and you risk losing everything you’ve built. So let me share seven pieces of advice with you.

1. Name it to tame it

You feel awful because the situation is awful. The doubt, anger, despair, and fear that are showing up do not mean there is something wrong with you. They are healthy reactions to an unfair event. Give yourself the grace of seeing these feelings as normal rather than signs of weakness.

2. Find safety in your body

When the body sounds the alarm, self-care is usually the first thing to go. Routines fall apart, meals get irregular, we numb ourselves with screens or alcohol, or hide in bed. Your task now is to counteract that reflex. Be your own caring parent: move, eat, sleep, and keep small rhythms that tell your body it is safe in the present moment.

3. Log in and log out

Worrying is a coping mechanism that gives us the illusion of control, but it will not save you. Give yourself windows to lean into the worry, then shift your attention away from it and take a few practical steps toward finding a new job. It can help to work to a schedule. Sit at your desk for the hours you have decided on, even when motivation is low. And just as importantly, allow yourself to stop when the day’s share is done.

“You start to doubt your worth and even blame your roots for the uncertainty you’re forced to live with.”

4. Remember what you’ve achieved

You came to Denmark six years ago, completed a master’s degree, learned the language, and built a career. Those accomplishments don’t vanish because your job ended. The skills, discipline, and resilience you developed are still yours. Hold on to this truth.

5. Measure success by values, not outcomes

Your goal of staying in Denmark is outside your control. What is inside your control is how you show up each day. Define what matters to you, and let your daily actions reflect it. When what you do aligns with your values, you are actively creating a rich and meaningful life. That is a success, regardless of the outcomes beyond your control.

6. Trust that you will be okay

This one takes time and inner work. But there is a part of you that already knows your worth is not tied to your visa, your job, or any external status. If you must leave Denmark, you will still be ok. Maybe even better. Your drive, your resilience, and your values live inside of you. They are not tied to a place.

7. Love yourself fiercely

The world can be unfair and unpredictable. Your main task is to be on your own side. Whatever the world throws at you, meet yourself with kindness. The future was never certain; it only ever felt that way. What can be certain is the way you support your wellbeing, no matter what happens.

And Dan, if you can, reach out for help. Talk with friends, family, or professionals who can hold space for your feelings and help you keep moving. You do not have to face this alone. I hope life will give you what you need and maybe even what you wish for.