Danish ways of saying “Jeg elsker dig”

Brooke Taylor Fossey’s look at love beyond jeg elsker dig.

Photograph: Pexels / Michelle Leman

Text: Brooke Taylor Fossey

It’s February, which means many of us are thinking about love – well, Valentine’s Day at least. Valentinsdag has gained some traction in Denmark since the 1990s and 2000s, but it’s still not widely celebrated. So how do Danes prefer to profess their love?

Why Danes rarely say jeg elsker dig

Danes are famously reserved when it comes to saying ‘I love you.’ While it might seem surprising to outsiders, the phrase jeg elsker dig isn’t dropped lightly in Denmark. So if Danes rarely use these words, how do they express love? In plenty of ways! But cultural preferences show that everyday gestures and language nuance take centre stage.

Actions over declarations

Instead of grandiose declarations, Danes often express love through consistent actions, shared routines, and practical support. Saying jeg elsker dig can feel too formal or intense for many Danes – and so it is often reserved for a deep love that has been tried and tested – for family and long-term relationships. But that doesn’t mean feelings aren’t deep or genuine. For Danes, presence, attentiveness, and reliability often matter far more than verbal affirmations, and the same is true of friendships. Although it can take a while to develop deep ties with a Dane, once you do, many say that you’re in for life.

Softer ways of saying “I love you”

That said, Danes do have ways of expressing affection in words, even if they’re less intense than jeg elsker dig. Phrases like jeg holder af dig (‘I care about you’), du betyder meget for mig (‘you mean a lot to me’), or jeg er vild med dig (‘I’m crazy about you’) are commonly used among partners. Danes will also often use “I love you” in English before using the Danish equivalent.

The meaning behind kæreste

One small word that carries a lot of emotional weight in Danish is kæreste. It’s used for both men and women, for relatively new relationships or partnerships that have lasted years. At its simplest, it translates to ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend,’ but the literal meaning comes from kær, which means ‘dear’ or ‘beloved.’ Calling someone your kæreste signals closeness, commitment, and affection without needing to say jeg elsker dig until you’re ready.

When love words carry weight

It’s an interesting cultural observation for me, coming from a culture that loves many things – I love coffee! I love biking! I love chocolate! It’s lovely (oops) for me to see the weight of the Danish jeg elsker dig, and how Danes reserve jeg elsker for a few things, so that it continues to hold its meaning.

Quiet, steady love

Ultimately, understanding Danish love is about appreciating quiet, steady expressions and consistency. Even if jeg elsker dig is said less often, the feelings behind it are real and deeply felt. Danes just like to take it slow and steady in love.