Last month we briefly talked about how we can honour our maternal ancestors and connect with our female energy. As we celebrate fathers, we will talk about our masculine energy and paternal ancestors this month.
Text: Ophelia Wu
Like everything in the universe, the yin and the yang coexist. We all have the masculine and feminine energy within us regardless of gender. We often associate masculine energy with a man, a father figure, but it is not always the case. They embody the stronger side of that energy, while tough and assertive women are often more connected to their masculine energy. The masculine energy usually represents logic, structure, confidence, assertiveness, boundaries etc. Hence it is more seen in the father figure as we grow up because, in most families, fathers are the ones who provide a structure for the home and keep it safe. When we connect to our masculine energy, embrace it, respect it, and use it. Have you asked yourself how are you integrating these qualities into your daily life? Have they helped you in times of decision making or crisis?
Relationship with our father
Men usually conform to what society perceives, with rules of how a man should behave and act. We all might not be lucky enough to grow up with a father or a father figure who openly expresses love and shower us with attention because it’s been considered weak. Most of the time, they were the biggest absent figure in a family due to work and other reasons. Many women and children step up and fill the role, adopting warrior-like energy. This subconsciously pushes the female to connect with their masculine energy more than the receiving and gentler feminine energy. Our relationship with our father hugely affects us. It shapes us emotionally and psychologically growing up and affects our relationship with people around us in time. It is often complicated and problematic. Therefore, we often hear women choose a partner with qualities like their father. If you have an unhealthy relationship with your parents, chances are it affects your attachment style.
Just because men have a more dominant masculine energy, it doesn’t mean they have less capacity for emotions and love. It’s only a matter of how and when they understand and express that. A boy who was forced to grow up into adulthood is often a wounded child left abandoned, neglected, and incomplete- imagine that for your father or yourself. How does it feel? Who has the compassion for this little boy taking up all the adult responsibilities? It might take them a while to process and feel their emotions, but it is there - have some patience. This patience is equally essential to understanding all facets of our emotions. Showing emotions is not weak - it is one of the most powerful things one can do.
"Let’s celebrate their courage and pride, let them know, thank them, and forgive the tough love or lack of."
Acknowledging the effort
Sometimes I wonder, for a man being honoured on Father’s Day, does it mean acknowledging their achievement at work and providing a good life for their family? Have they ever been honoured for their emotions, love, devotion, and dedication to their families? In animal kingdoms and mankind, men are always the ones who go out hunting and fighting for life. Has anyone honoured their courage, bravery, and sense of duty? We are living the legacy of our ancestors - emotions and trauma has been passed on for generations, and sometimes it is hard to change specific patterns and belief systems. During June, we can start by simply acknowledging the love from our paternal ancestors, expressed through action and acts of service. Release any resentment, anger, or fear towards them. Let’s celebrate their courage and pride, let them know, thank them, and forgive the tough love or lack of. May all the fathers be honoured and showered with love.